USAF Families Suffer on the Homefront Too
by Beth M
I am an Air Force brat turned wife of 17 years. I had three babies 17 months apart, I suffered post partum depression, my husband was deployed a lot, I lost my job, and we relocated in July and my husband was gone that August. I had no family and friends, three babies, unemployed, living miles from the base. Simple routines became a struggle for me. I could no longer talk to people without loosing my breath, feeling my heart tremble and my throat dry up. I became closed up and lost myself. Once I put my kids in the car to go grocery shopping as we lived paycheck to paycheck and had no food. I went to start my car up and the battery died. I sat in the drivers seat crying when a little hand reached over and my son's whispered "It's ok mommy, I'm here". I felt hopeless. I was screaming inside, walking around like a zombie, smiles were few and far between, I rarely slept, motivation and hope were dead. I lived only for my children. Until I found myself staring into the mirror and I didn't even know who I was. I thought; "I can't be the only military wife like this!" I had to find myself and live again. I sought help and was diagnosed with Anxiety Panic Disorder. I went to a women's group where every one there was military. I was not alone and because I hit rock bottom in my life, the only way to go was up. I now write military children's books, I own a non-profit for military children, and I speak at seminars to help military spouses cope with anxiety disorder. I was meant to be a part of the Air Force and serve in my own way.